I have outdoor cats, and when you have cats that you feed outdoors, you frequently end up with possums that come and eat your cat food (as well as the occasional deer). Tonight I was watching tv when I heard a clattering on the front porch. The cats are quiet when they are eating their cat food, so a clattering means possums. I don't like possums hanging around my house, so when I hear clattering on the porch, I grab my quarterstaff, open the door and chase the possums off.
Well tonight when I opened the door, instead of seeing a possum, I saw a skunk. With his tail raised and pointed right at me. I slammed the door.
I waited a moment then cracked the door and peeked out. No skunk. I carefully opened the door further and took a good look around. My black cat, Bastet, came walking toward me with an innocent look on her face. But now I know better. She's apparently been having assignations with Pepe Le Pew on my front porch.